Garth Bigelow - Thoughts - December, 2007

I had planned to take the ferry to Hyannis originally for the last leg of my trip but in looking up the schedule I had discovered that it stopped running for the season on November 30th. So a few days back I made plans with Fred to pick me up in Woods Hole. I had given all the morning arrival times and had assumed it being Sunday that he would want to sleep in a bit. But no, he chose the 7am boat so I was up at 4:45am finalizing my packing and such.

Mom picked me up at 6am and we spent a good half hour at the boat wharf waiting and saying our goodbyes.

My vessel was the new one, the Island Home. Much bigger with wider corridors and lots of tables. It seemed much more than would be needed, but maybe summer populations have continued to grow exponentially. On this passenger forsaken journey it was almost a ghost ship.

I had done once around the food court and decided a coffee would hold me until breakfast with Fred. I picked a table and pulled out the USA today I had purchased at the boat dock.

I was still on the cover when Andrue found me. His family sat a few tables away and we talked most of the trip.

Fred was right there when I walked off the freight deck and we drove to the Hearth and Kettle in Falmouth. One memorable Eggs Benedict later we were off to his office. I had been warned that he wanted to make a bug fix to the consignment program. I haven't worked in DOS for years and didn't even remember which variant of DBase the program was coded in. I was game to try but didn't have complete confidence in my ability.

Sitting down at the computer the power supply had a whine that required me to wear my headset. Fred then pulled out a folder of work to be done. I gave it my best shot - it really made my head throb. Most changes I was able to do eventually, additions I refused to attempt. Around 4 the ordeal was over. How do you bill on something like that? Were I at full mental strength it was maybe a couple hours work. On the other hand if someone else had to figure out my code it would have cost him thousands. On the third hand it hurt like hell.

In the end I left it up to him and he said he would mail me a check. As you have stay on top of Fred to get paid, I expect we will both end up forgetting about it. No big deal. (Note: a check for $100 arrived just before Christmas)

After work Fred dropped me off at John's house. I had completely forgotten that John's birthday was only a few days away.

Staying with John is a treat. There is no games at all with John. I'm just me, he is just himself. He treats me no differently than when I was well. And basically says what is on his mind. You know where you stand with John and it makes just being so very easy. He has been kicking around the house by himself since his mother died which has made him more talkative than usual - which he keeps apologizing for even though I like it.

But we ate a lot. I took him out to dinner last night (can't remember where or what) and was still full when we went to breakfast in the morning at yet another Health and Kettle - this one in South Yarmouth near where John used to work at the Entertainment Stop all those decades ago. And we ate a lot and it was good.

Tonight it is Randy that will take John out to dinner. We shoot for a an Asian fusion joint I haven't been to Main Street in Hyannis, but it is closed. So we default to one of John's favorite places, Wimpy's in Centerville. Randy and his girlfriend Amanda in one car, John and I in his. John misses several turns and we take the very scenic route. Fine by me, I'm certainly not hungry.

Through most of the meal I'm trying to figure out if this Amanda is the same Amanda Randy was dating a few decades back. I can't remember what she (the first Amanda) looked like and it just isn't good form to ask such a thing, so I waited and asked John later (its a different one.)

I ordered baked stuff shrimp and a brushetta that was much heavier than I was expecting. One thing about eating with John, if you order light you are going to be sitting around doing nothing for a long time. So main course and appetizer at a minimum. When they starting asking what kind of potatoes and salad I wanted I began to worry. When they brought irresistible fresh baked bread, I knew fear :)

I'm not the type that will normally stop eating until the food is gone, but tonight only the shrimp minus the stuffing got eaten, and half the brushetta and potatoes was taken home.

We had a lot of laughs - Randy brings out a good side of me - and I think John really enjoyed himself.

As is usual, I woke up with sun, warmed up the laptop and finished off last nights doggie bag.

The previous night John had asked Randy and Amanda where a good place to have breakfast was. The Celtic Kettle had been there reply, and when John got up we went there around noon time.

A lot of Irish come to the Cape in the summer, a few never leave, and this place appears to be exclusively staffed by them. The accent was so thick it really got me to missing Emer. The portions were ridiculous even by American standards and the recipes I'm guessing were fairly authentic as there were some things I had not had before. Three types of sausage, one I did not like, and the densest thickest sliced bread (brown bread it was called) I'd ever had - and I've have some very dense breads. I thought I was full last night, now I'm starting to burst at the seams. I don't even want to think about what my blood sugar levels must be. And we still have John's actual birthday dinner to go!

John's sister and her husband Ray take us to the Grand Cru which is the Cape Codder which Ray holds a high position in. I've known Paula and Ray - in very short bursts - for a long time back when Mrs. Power's made me feel like one of the family. These two definitely travel in different circles than I, and I've never felt quite at ease. However they were extremely good hosts (especially if you figure in that I was just a tag along) and appeared interested in and dragged me into the conversation. And the food was the best I have had all this trip - and thankfully in European portions. I started with Bacon and scallops, which while I have seen on menus forever I have never ordered before. I'm curious if this would be as smashing elsewhere and I really must try somewhere before I leave the country - but this was simply marvelous. Bacon compliments scallops perfectly and the whole thing was in a subtle sweet juice. Heavenly.

Still trying to get a great shrimp entree (The one at Wimpys being somewhat overcooked) I ordered the shrimp scampi. Again, cooked to perfection.

The night before John had made a joke about killing Randy if waiters came over and started singing Happy Birthday. Well tonight of course they did, little cake in toe. No one was killed :) and even the cake was really good.

It's time for me to return to the warmth of the south. My flight is in the mid-afternoon. The plan is for John to take me to Jia's in the morning, and Jia and Lorne will take me to the Boston Airport. There is nothing worse than driving to Logan airport, but it is slightly less inconvenient than usual for Jia as she has a business affair in Boston at 4.

I awake early and pack what could not be packed the night before. John awakes on time and we leave around 8am stopping at the McDonald's on what used to be the rotary in Sagamore. The removal of the rotary must have been a blow to the businesses that used to be right off of it. The McDonalds, once right on the rotary, was now an off ramp, and several confusing turns away. The service (always notorious lousy at this particular location) have improved tremendously to compensate for the extra trouble.

We arrived at my sisters early and she immediately called Lorne to come over and we all talked for a while and then left to head for the airport and grab lunch on the way.

Jia had held herself together fairly well while she tried to wrap her head around my plans for the future, until I said that I was shooting for Feb 15th as a departure date. Then she lost it (Lorne had to remind me that that was the date Lance died - I'm lousy with dates) and I promised to move it back a day or too - which is indeed what ended up happening.

Emotions were raw at the airport and I got that disconnected feeling I get in situations like that, feeling guilty that I'm not feeling what I know I should be feeling. It always make me just want to get away. I don't know how much of that shows in those situations, I've become rather good at faking normalcy over the last few years.

Writing as I am from the distant future of the 24th, I remember very little about the actual flight home, except that this time the plane was as described: two rows of two (a smaller plane) seats across. My channel up button did work on the TV (but the TV did, so that was a big plus over the trip down). My seat companion never said a word. And unlike the trip down, the flight attendants made one round and vanished - much preferred to the constant marching back and forth of the first flight.

Dan picked me up at the baggage claim and a long walk to the car later we were on our way home.

The next three days were spent catching up on with the TV shows recorded on the very full TiVo.

As I was laying out my days pills in the morning yesterday I became aware that I only had two Xanax left. And also that as always, I had no refills. So I called it in. Today when I called to check on it, it was of course not filled as Jena Medical had not responded to the pharmacy. A trip to Jena later and my doctor isn't in. I explained as out of controlly as I could muster that I couldn't go into the night without my pill. This turned out to be a bad mistake as they brought me to the attention of the head of Jena and suddenly he was my new doctor and talking about weaning me off Xanax. To be fair I am addicted to it, and he doesn't know my true situation, but he also had the open attitude that he was more interested in covering his own ass in my well being. Meanwhile, I keep thinking that I had only one more doctors appointment to go and I would have been all set. Just the universe slapping me again for no reason. When taken in context it just means a little more stress, and that I have to use a few of my sharper days working the system.

Tracy and Marc have broken up. I didn't push for details and so didn't get many. I don't take any pleasure in this - it was always my hope that if she wasn't going to be with me that she would be happy.

Anyway, she asked if she could visit. That I do take pleasure in. She will be here Dec 26th to Jan 1st.

Okay, here is the insanity of getting ready for Thailand. To get a Visa, I already have to have both a ticket in and a ticket out. No flying by the seat of your pants in today's global reality.

As it will the cheapest and may or may not be used, I work on the exit ticket first. After many hours of staring at maps online and searching for tickets, I settle on Kuala Lumpur as my destination and the ticket is purchased. The ass-backward planning continues.

Next I get ready for the big one: first class ticket to Thailand from Orlando using American Express reward points. This turns out to be an exercise in frustration. While the rewards book shows what it would cost as being exactly what I have in points the reality is that no such flights exist. Planes that actually fly there themselves, like United, are not part of the American Express family. Those that fly there, like Continental or Delta, that are part of the Amex family, farm out the last legs (the bulk) of the trip to others and near as I can tell none of those flights are available first class.

After exhausting everything I can think off I come to the realization that this flight is not going to be bought by points. Paying in cash is going to be around $5000 - a sizable portion of my nest egg.

I take a break and decide to tackle negotiating with my landlord. After three false starts where they are not home, my persistence pays off. While we haven't crossed all the 't's and dotted the 'i's they are open to working with me. The house will be mine until June 30th - six months paid half in cash and half in furniture. Thus Dan can keep the business open and bringing in capital until then. This also gives Dan time to plan his next move, and gives my family and friends lots of time to take whatever of mine they wish (although I will be mailing most of personalized possessions back east in the coming week.) Finally something goes smoothly.

Also at some point during the day, I get online and look up the Board of Health website and eventually find where to make an appointment to get travel vaccinations. I get the location, hours and a phone number. An appointment needs to be made, as well as finding out what it will cost. It feels expensive. Even though time is getting close I decide to put this off until I have actually secured the ticket. I begin to wonder what will happen if I can't make this happen.

It is a long time before I fall asleep.

It has been quite awhile since I posted on this site. November 24th to be exact. Trying to make Thailand a reality has been exhausting as has the Christmas sales rush. So today when my mind is functioning better than average but my will to work on Thailand is spent I have set up the laptop next to my recliner and I am going to spend the day watching reruns out of my peripheral vision while catching up on filling in the last three weeks. Much detail will be lost but thankfully my memory seems to be more acute today so I might just do the events of the past justice.

The saga of plane tickets continue. I've taken a day off, my mind is a bit hazy, but sometimes that is good for focus (less extraneous thoughts) and I've had this idea during the night of using points to get to Hawaii and then paying from there. This seems like a good plan as I am working under the impression that parts of my flight not being handled directly by Continental might be what the problem is. I find some flights, but the website keeps dropping back to paying for the flight when I try to call up one-way information. Finally I get all the flight data and give in and call Continental on the phone. Several levels of entering all but my blood type via the touch pad, I am then put on hold for twenty minutes of dead air. I'm using a headset and sitting at the computer - still trying to look up flights - so waiting isn't a problem. I will give them one prop - they retained the info I entered and I didn't have to repeat all of it when a person finally took my call.

This person (he repeated his three times before I gave up trying to figure out what he was saying) informed me, that reward points could not be used for one way travel. I have no trouble believing this as that was the way the website was acting. So, I asked out of curiosity, "When did that start?"

"It's always been that way," he replied.

Now, I've flown Tracy both to visit me and get home on one way tickets using reward points probably 20 times. But it has been at least 4 years since I did so, and "forever" for this guy probably begins with his employment. I was going to argue and then realized I really didn't care. It wasn't going to help me.

Armed with the realization that my points were useless for what I was trying to do, I went about reexamining straight out purchasing tickets. Originally I had looked at it from a "I wonder what this would actually cost? perspective" but now I was in "How low can I get this for? mode." So, instead of the $21,000 I had come up with days ago, I was able to find some deals in the low 3 thousands.

An hour or so more of dickering and indecision mostly spent wondering about the difference between First Class and Business Elite Class (the Asian legs of the trip having no First Class seats- period) and I have the total price under $2500 first class and business. Timidly I book it.

I leave Feb 14th, change planes in Atlanta and Korea, finally landing in Bangkok, Thailand just after midnight on the 16th. What I will do - worldly possesses in tow - from Midnight to 3pm when I can check into my Hotel room (I'm getting ahead of myself) in Pattaya, I have no idea.

Okay, I've got plane tickets. The second step on the Visa application is complete. Step 4 wants to know where I am staying. Do they just want a region or an actual address? I get the online chat person online fairly quickly and ask. They want a real address - so now I need to book my stay. I had planned to get a hotel for a few days and make arrangements to see several places. I decide to still get the hotel and find a person to talk to about long term residence. Getting the room is easy and cheap. Two nights, really nice looking place, $58.

I send emails outlining my wishes in a rental property. Ney is the first (and only on so far (the 24th)) to respond. His email includes three links. One is link is broken, one is perfect - albeit a tad bright - but more than money than had expressed wanting to pay (but not completely out of the question) and one doesn't mention half the amenities I had expressed interest in. So write back to Ney and haven't heard back since.

I don't know if the holiday season applies over there or not, but it is definitely getting in the way over here. So, I'm taking a break from the Visa project until after Tracy leaves. The fact that the expeditor offers two day service - which takes a lot longer than two days - fills me with false confidence. Booking the rental, passport type photos (UPS store for that) and finishing the paperwork are all that are left. It's exhausting just thinking about.

Morning inventory: brain doing well, ears working, eyes able to read, can speak properly, the universe is where I think it is, time is flowing correctly, neck isn't hurting. With the exception of the right knee I'm mostly pain free. It's a mini pre-Christmas miracle. And to top it off I get to drive! A beautiful 30 mile trip to pickup supplies while Dan works feverishly to get to the Post Office. Such a simple pleasure driving, but I rarely let myself any more. But today, clouds shield me from the sun, the temperature is perfect and my mind is clear and accurate and out on the road I am. I thought, being the day before Christmas, the roads would be more crowded, but the traffic is moderate and the driving easy.

I pickup the last DVD cases they have (only 380 and they just got the shipment in Friday, I better keep more in stock. This place seems to be have quantity control problems) and right back on the highway I am. A wonderful way to start the day.

The rest of the day will be spent getting this month posted. I have only to fill in my time with John and saga of buying the plane ticket and I'll be good to go.

HAPPY RAMAHANAQUANZMAS!

I'll be at the theaters all day.

I woke up feeling better than I had yesterday. Even my knee did not hurt. I stripped the bed linens and threw them in the washing machine. And made a mental note to put them in the dryer before we left.

It was 9am and Dan was not up yet. He had been working quite hard these last few weeks with the Christmas orders which had been, thankfully, much stronger than I had anticipated, so I saw no reason to wake him and puttered around the computer. I call my mother, I get a call from my sister.

For the last week I had been trying to arrange to have Marilyn come over and clean the place for Tracy's arrival tomorrow. But she was out of town until Saturday and I was unclear whether Shaun had managed to ask her. Shaun had been mostly asleep when we talked on the phone yesterday, and I went over to the house a couple of times but they had not been home. So I gave one last shot at it this morning and finally reached Marilyn on the phone. She knew all about it and was getting ready to come over.

Dan got up a little before noon and we headed out to find out what restaurant would be open today. I knew Perkins was open for Thanksgiving and I was hoping it would also be so for Christmas and if not, maybe one of the chain by the highway. None of this turned out to be the case for other than gas stations, Orange City was closed. So even though it was much too early we head down I-4 in the direction of theater toward exit 101c. My thinking was, maybe Cracker Barrel is open, and if not there is always Waffle House - 24 hours a day, 365 days a years. By cars in the parking lot, there is also Dennys. But Dennys service isn't the greatest when it is empty didn't want to test it when it was packed. Cracker Barrel was a bust; Waffle House it is. With my headset protecting me from the continual clanking of plates and silverware that always plagues the chain we ate a hefty breakfast at lunchtime to hold us until the theater let out at 9pm.

Now it is 1pm, the first movie is 2 hours away - travel 15 miles backward or continue on 20 miles more? Onward we go, something will be open. The line in front of the cinema is intimidating. Thankfully we don't have to get into yet. Across the street Starbucks is open. Now I've never actually been in a Starbucks. I figure if I've got $6 for coffee, I could be doing something better with it. But they are open and have big comfy sofa type chairs. The girl taking the order is wearing a Santa hat, but it is green - I guess because green is Starbucks theme color - and I discover that green Santa hats have no power me. As I knew from Foamy cartoon, Starbucks has weird names for their sizes and just enough other weirdnesses to make me uncomfortable with the ordering process. So I figure out what I want (Venti (that's Large in Starbuck-speak) Eggnog Latte and a Mint Brownie), tell Dan and got sit in one of the comfy chairs and read the provided newspapers.

I'm not quite sure how they do it, but the brownie (which I actually thing should be called dense fudge (brownies after all should have some sort of crumble factor to them)) seemed about 300% sugar. And the Latte to had amazing amounts of caffeine (although admitted tasted more like slightly spoiled coffee than anything approaching eggnog) in it. I drank and ate as slowly as I was able. By the end I was awake! I was alert! I was ready! Only an hour to kill!

We leave anyway. Back across 17/92 into the little shopping village Dan drove. Despite everything but cinema being closed almost all the parking spaces are taken. But we catch a lucky break and get a nice spot. There is virtually no line at the ticket window now, and I get two tickets for I am Legend. With 40 minutes to kill we sit in on Sweeny Todd for a bit. As this stars Johnny Depp it is a good bet that I will be seeing it with Tracy.

I wish I could say it was the Christmas spirit that me decide that I would be paying for all three movies instead of just the first one as usual, but it was in fact the construction of the theatre which consists of two large wings and today had the ticket takers not at the door but at the head of each wing instead. And of course our chosen movies, switched wings each flick. It was however the Christmas spirit that made me mind not a bit.

I am legend gave my headset quite a workout - with the shrieking of the vampire-like infected humans and all. The original (Omega Man) being such a classic, but so low budget, it is hard to compare and the book was heads above either. But on the other hand its hard to hate Will Smith (even when we is in total crap like Wild Wild West) so I'll just say it was an enjoyable movie - despite the theater being much too warm.

Only a handful of minutes separated us from our second film, Walk Hard, a parody of "Walk the Line" and "Ray". This movie had been over-hyped and so had a lot to live up to. While I laughed a lot I didn't think it was as good as their other films of recent years.

Whoosh, out of there and an actual hustle to get over to the last show, Charlie Wilson's War. Now this had been the one of the three I was least anticipating. I'm not a real Julia Roberts fan, but who doesn't like Tom Hanks, and the commercials made it look like something I'd like. It turned out to be the best of the bunch. Lots to laugh about, and a bit of thought to chew on.

It was amazing considering how pumped with sugar and caffeine I was, how little fidgeting I did. Most likely because I wasn't in any pain today. A Christmas gift from the universe.

During one of the movies I became aware I had become separated from my cap. I was pretty sure I hadn't brought it into the movies, but thought I had taken it into Waffle House. We planned to look there on the way home. At the exit, Dennys was less crowded now; about 9:30pm. It was full cops, guess the have to eat somewhere on Christmas too. I had turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce, and for Dennys it wasn't too bad and the service was as good as Gram's on an off day. When we left, we forgot all about stopping for my hat. Didn't bother me, I wasn't planning on taking it to Thailand and I have about 6 more lesser used ones at home.

Turns out it didn't matter, the hat was sitting at home, right where it always was. Weird, I never got out in the daylight without a hat.

Marilyn was still there when we got home, and at first I thought "Wow, was it really THAT bad?" but it turned out she had had to leave for several hours in the evening and had just come back to finish up.

Those that laughed back at the beginning when I said 'made a mental note' were right to chuckle. My bed sheets were still in the washer. And rather than pull down the other set I set about keeping busy for the hour it took for them to dry.

After that, I made the bed and feel asleep almost immediately.

Luckily Dan noticed that I had the flight time wrong for Tracy. I'd only given him the first leg of the trip. She would be arriving at 5:15pm not noon. While this means 5 less hours it also allowed Dan to get out the orders that had accumulated over Christmas without having to pick up Tracy in the middle of it. We were expecting toner to arrive but I found that PC Connection had lost some of my credit card info, and had never mailed it. As we had just run out of toner, this was problem. I got around it by tapping on some of the empties and inserting them into the printer. Enough loose ink was roused to get what we needed done. I'm have the new toner shipped over-night, an expense I think they should absorb, but they disagree.

The backlog was big enough that helped Dan fill the orders a bit. I didn't feel like taking the mental hit doing the addressing would incur and opted for more menial constructing of the DVDs and filling them into the correct shipping packages. My least favorite job is cutting covers, but today it was the task that work take the least toll. All the packages went out on time. The whole Christmas season only two packages went out late (one email never reached us, and one package got dislodged and hid out of site.) Great job Dan.

I'm killing time in the few hours before Tracy arrives. I've got 3 emails from Stumblefriends, asking me why I hate God? The question took me back a bit. After all I don't hate God any more than I hate the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus or Zeus. You can't hate what you don't believe in.

In looking over this months entries (mostly the hidden squares) they did seem more heavily anti-religious than usual, but I think the holiday season so shoves religion in our pagan faces, that that reaction is justified. But for the record, 'I don't hate God. Just don't believe in Him. And if a belief in Him or anything else, gives your life meaning or makes it better, this too does not bother me.'

Dan should be leaving to pick Tracy soon. Which, if all goes well, puts us at t-minus 2 hours or so and counting.